Let’s face it, y’all. Most of us have been passengers on the hot mess express at least a few times on this parenting journey of ours. I mean, who can blame us? We are exhausted, we are overwhelmed, and we are expected to do absolutely everything for everyone all the time and OMG make it stop!
Luckily, these 12 hilarious moms are here to show you that being a hot mess is not only perfectly normal, but also it is completely hilarious.
Because here are just a few things hot mess moms have been known to do:
1.You hope no one sees you:
My personal style is best described as "didn't expect to get out of the car."
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) February 16, 2015
2. Or that, on the rare occasion you do look moderately put-together, everyone sees you:
Pretty sure selfies were invented by moms on the days when they did hair and makeup but saw no one.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) February 10, 2017
3. Because you need to prove you have your act together:
I like to dress up and put on makeup once a week so people know I've only mostly given up instead of entirely.
— SammichesPsychMeds (@SamPsychMeds) October 17, 2016
4. But secretly your body is falling apart:
I make heads turn wherever I go. It's probably cuz my knees are crackling and people are all wtf is that sound, but still. They turnin.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) October 25, 2017
5. And you kinda look like death warmed over:
Motherhood is when your child looks like a sparkling cherub and you look like a steaming pile of nope.
— ☠Mommy Cusses☠ (@mommy_cusses) June 21, 2016
6. But you don’t have the energy to do anything about it:
Fitness Instructor: “Abs are made in the kitchen.”
Me: [Googles recipe for abs]
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) November 28, 2016
7. Because you haven’t slept in 5 years:
If you look closely at the circles around a mother's eyes, you can count how many years she's lived without sleep.
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) August 30, 2017
8. (At least since you had the kids):
I want to go back in time and find pre-kid me who thinks she is "so busy" and "so tired." And I want to smack her.
— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) August 23, 2016
9. Or had a night out in 5 years:
What does it say about me that I have 97 pairs of pajama pants and 2 pairs of going-out pants?
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 10, 2017
10. But with the help of coffee:
Coffee does a good job of waking you up, but I just learned that accidentally dropping your phone on your face does an even better job.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) July 29, 2017
And a lot of alcohol:
My son came home from school & said "science project" but all I heard was "vodka tonic."
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 22, 2016
You are getting by:
I grabbed the right Tupperware lid on the first try, and honestly, I've never felt more drunk with power.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) October 19, 2017
Lauren Lodder earned her BA from UC Berkeley and her MA from CSUF. Before becoming a freelance writer, she taught writing and literature classes at the college level. You can find her on Facebook and on Twitter. Her work has appeared on HuffPost, Scary Mommy, Babble, Buzzfeed, The Mighty, among others.