Dear Anyone and Everyone who does not know that nap time is sacred,
When you have three small children that all still nap, the hours of 1-4 pm in our house are sacred. Every day during this time, the world under our little roof stops. Phones are turned off. The doorbell is unplugged (we are high tech around here), schedules are cleared, and all attempts at complete silence are attempted. We fail miserably at complete silence almost every day. But, we try.
You see, it’s not just that this time is MY time as a stay at home Mom. Although, I might fight to the death to savor that me time. It’s more than that. It’s my kids’ time. Their time to rest their wired up, non-stop talking, always-asking-for-food bodies for just a couple of hours. It is their time to re-charge. It is my time to do…well, almost anything or nothing. But, usually, my time to watch the morning news I record. Or, my time to sit at the computer writing like I am right now. Or eat some food. Or, on the very RARE occasion, when I’ve had a ridiculously long night of no sleep, I might nap too.
So, yeah, it’s a pretty big deal if you ring my doorbell during this time.
You see, I don’t care if you are freaking publisher’s clearing house telling me I’ve won a million dollars. Can you come back after 4?
Want to deliver cookies as a nice gesture? No thank you.
Have flowers, or a surprise package? Just leave it outside. PLEASE, please for the love don’t ring my doorbell (in case I forgot to unplug it) or bang on my door like there is a fire. I would rather someone steal the package you are delivering than you wake my sleeping child.
If the whole world could just stop during these hours like they do in Italy (Hmmm. Maybe I should move to Italy?) my life might be a whole lot easier.
Don’t play with your dogs right under my window where my child is napping making them yelp.
Don’t let your child that doesn’t nap come ask for a playdate.
Don’t bring me anything at all during this time. Period. Or, just quietly leave it outside my door and leave.
Don’t call me or text during this time. I just might have laid my weary bones down to rest for two seconds.
Don’t drive your dump truck down my residential street and shake my whole house.
How about you don’t even walk in front of my house at all? The neighbors’ dogs think all hell is breaking loose when this happens.
Cats: Please don’t get into a cat fight under my children’s window.
Birds: Stop your damn chirping between 1 and 4. Okay?
And, can you please wait to drag your trashcans to the curb until after 4. The trash doesn’t come until tomorrow morning. It can wait. Or pressure wash your driveway? That could maybe wait until 4 too.
To all you tweens. It’s really not a good time to skateboard on my driveway. Or play basketball, or any other tween like behavior. Just wait a little while. Don’t you have homework to do?
To all construction workers, roofers, and city ordinance peeps: Can you please not drill that hole, chop down that tree, shingle that roof, or re-pave my street right at the precise time of 2 pm? Why not 9 am? Or, I would even take 3 if we have to compromise. But, it never fails. You pull up your giant digger precisely after my wee ones have finally entered dream land.
Most of the time, my kids sleep through it. But, sometimes they don’t. And, it’s usually for one of the ridiculous reasons already mentioned above. To you, oh dear outsider who apparently still thinks the world should function during these hours, just know, that if I know who you are, I might come ring your doorbell between the hours of 1-4 also. A.M., that is.
Because when one of these little people that still needs naps (even though at least one of them thinks he doesn’t), doesn’t get a nap? Life is, well, let’s just say, not fun. And, by not fun, I mean, pretty much make me want to kill myself not fun. Because you see, if those hours of 1-4 are not kept quiet, then the hours of 1, until my kid goes to bed for the night, are like nails on a chalkboard. You want to run away screaming, covering your ears, and hide until it stops.
That’s all for now.
Mothers of small children everywhere.