A Tribute to My Kids, A blog About Me and My View Raising Them
4th March 2013

I remember when my best friend of 25 years (oh my gosh, can it be that I’m that old?) told me about blogging. I thought it was a come and go fad like many other things. Remember myspace? But, here I am 5 years later, still blogging. This blog has become so much more to me than just putting cute pictures up of my kids and hoping that someone will comment about how adorable they are. That’s how it started. But, now, writing has become so much more to me. This blog has become so much more.

I have been thinking about writing a post like this for a while, and then I came across another blogger that shared her ideas on blogging in this modern society and how it relates to women and also their children. It was very interesting.

So, I realized when I commented on her blog that I feel very passionate about this blog and why I write. One of the things I said to her was that my blog is, “a tribute to my kids, and a blog about me and my view of raising them”. That would be how I would sum up what my blog is now. Maybe that’s not how it was 5 years ago, but that’s what it is to me now.

The truth is, this blog is as much about me as it is about them. Maybe even more so. Because what I see while raising them is probably very different than how they will remember it. So, what about when they are old enough to take a look? What then?

Well, I hope that they will see that I was a real person with feelings. That I had insecurities. That I made mistakes. That I got frustrated, and that my blog was my way of working through all of that. Will they be mortified by something I wrote about them? I hope not. Because that is not my intention. I love my kids more than life and the last thing I want to do is mortify them. But, let’s get real. It probably will happen that at some point they are mad about something I wrote. I will just have to explain to them why I do this. Because there are reasons.

For Memory’s Sake. I love my children, but I have a horrible memory. I frequently get terrified that I will forget a cute face expression that they have, or a funny thing that they say. I try to soak them up everyday, but it’s impossible. You cannot, possibly appreciate every single moment of motherhood when you’re in it. It’s impossible. (So, people, stop telling me that!) So, I write it down.

For my own therapy. I have realized since I became a mother that I have lots of issues of my own to work through. This job is hard. But, I think it is mostly hard because it has brought out some of my worst qualities. Sure, it has brought out some of my good ones, too. But, the bad ones are what has rocked me to my core. The bad qualities that I try to overcome while raising human beings is what keeps me awake at night and makes me cry myself to sleep sometimes. I currently can’t afford a therapist. So, I write because for some reason, there is a part of me that just feels better if I can voice it. Blogging is my journal. It just so happens that lots of people read it.

To connect. My dear, sweet Aunt talked to me once about doing this, and I think she was really confused why I wanted to be so public. She didn’t understand. But, I guess my answer is that I find comfort in connecting with others through this medium. I have found so many other bloggers that have inspired me to be a better person through their blogs, or have just brought me comfort through their experience and their words, or have just put things in perspective on a really hard day. So I hope to do the same for someone else. To me, it is no different than saying “I understand” to a friend going through a hard time. Except, maybe I just haven’t met all my friends in person just yet. But, they are real people. Going through real things. Going through things just like me.

So my kids will understand me a little better. My Mother always wanted to write her own story. Maybe she has written parts of it, but I have never read it. (Why is that, Mom?) I would kill to read her thoughts and frustrations as a 35 year old woman with 3 kids and one on the way. It would be fascinating. Eye-opening. And, maybe it would make me understand her a little better. I write because I want my kids to see who I am. The real me.

Image

Me. 2007. A brand new mama of less than a year.

I write because I am not a constant being. I think there is so much to learn from who we are as we evolve and change. I try to imagine myself as an empty nester, and it is impossible. But, when I want to think about myself as a Mom to one kid, I can read it. Now, I’m a mom to three little people that make me crazy. One day, I’m sure I will laugh at myself at 35. Complaining about her fears of vomit, or her frustrations at mothering, or the endless complaining about pregnancy. But, I want to remember myself at this stage because it is nice when we can see how far we’ve come.

Image

Me at 35. Just last month. (Notice the dirty dishes in the background?) 3 kids. Keeping it real. And NO, I do not look this put together every day. That’s why I took a picture.

I do wonder as this generation of mommy bloggers ages and our kids are all grown how all of this publicity will affect them. Maybe there will be some negative repercussions. Maybe not. But, I know that I can’t just keep quiet and suck down my feelings. I have to put them somewhere. I am compelled to write. Some days, it’s the only thing that keeps me feeling like I am not alone in my struggles. And, I know I’m not.

So this is why I have this blog. It’s a tribute to my kids, a blog about me, and about my real view of raising them.

Why do YOU blog?

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0 comments on “A Tribute to My Kids, A blog About Me and My View Raising Them

  1. Amber Perea

    Most simply put, I blog to stay sane. I feel sometimes it’s as though I live in a bubble. I feel as though I never am able to express myself as I truly am.

    I am a blunt person, an opinionated person, and (I hope, at least) a semi-eloquent individual. I have learned, however, that being a good person and a respectable wife and mother means that I have to bite my tongue…a lot. A lot, a lot. I spend more time contemplating how I will be perceived than I do actually expressing myself in the presence of others.

    So I blog. It’s MY world. I can say and do what I like, when I like. There is no other person that I feel the need to placate or avoid offending sensitivities. It’s like it’s my own personal universe that I can control whereas, in the reality of my life, I am constantly worried about everyone else around me. I blog to be me.

    Who I am, at my core, is a mom now. That is topics that interest me and the thing that I love to discuss most which is why I tout myself as a “Parenting Blog”. I haven’t put too much thought into the repercussion of blogging about my son in the future but like you, I hope that when he reads it he will realize -much earlier than I did- that your parents are human. I think and hope that it will help him see the person that I am and it will bring us closer together. My mother was so guarded that I didn’t get to truly know her until I was an adult and pregnant with my own son and I truly don’t want that for him and I.

    I blog because I love it, much more than I ever thought I would, and the feeling of personal accomplishment that comes with it. :)

    Reply
  2. miamamma35

    You’re beautiful!!! I’m glad you’ve blogged for so long…..I love reading your blog. I put you under my Fabulous Fellow Bloggers this morning, I couldn’t believe I had gone so long without you on there!!???

    Reply
    1. fakingpictureperfect

      Thank you! That is very sweet. I don’t typically do these kinds of awards…in fact I just wrote a long post about it, but I do hope you stick around and keep reading! Thanks for the love. :)

      Reply
  3. donofalltrades

    A generation of kids will be talking to their therapists saying, “well, I wanted to get to know my mom and dad better, but they wouldn’t get off the laptop!” Ironically, we’re at the laptop typing about them and hoping they’ll get to know the real us down the road by reading what we’re not sharing with them right now. Lol. I’m sort of teasing.

    Reply
      1. donofalltrades

        I haven’t completely figured it out yet. People kept telling me I should, even my own wife, who now regrets it a little bit. I’ve always loved to entertain and make people laugh, but there was a time when I was a pretty good writer too. My college English 101 professor told me I should get into writing, and I wish I would have at least stuck to it a little bit.

        So in short, I don’t know. I’ve only done this since last Thanksgiving or so, so I’m learning the ropes.

        I thought I was writing for myself, but as I’ve gotten more and more comments and followers, I find that I’m writing to please others. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but I’ll tell the same story without so much profanity as I used to use (in case any followers are Mormons or something ;-).

        It’s like cooking. I know if I read something I’ve written and am pleased with it, that others will like it too. I get more satisfaction from the reactions to my posts now than I do from writing them. I’m addicted to the little orange icon in the upper right corner I guess.

        Thanks for coaxing some of that from me, I need to think about my blog for real. It’s mostly just poop talk and nonsense. My wife says I’m capable of better, and she’s right, but I don’t know that I want to quit telling funny life tales in a crude manner just yet.

        That didn’t answer anything either did it?

        Reply
        1. fakingpictureperfect

          Well, as someone who blogged with practically no one reading for years, and not about anything interesting really, I can tell you that it IS addicting to get comments, and followers and see stats go up on a good day. But, I have to remind myself to keep it honest and real, because that’s why people want to read. There are those that want entertainment too, of course, so it is all about finding the balance. I think you can do both…blog about the funny and the “real” side too. You’ll find that your followers will love you all the more, I’m sure. And thanks for cleaning it up a bit for us goody goody types. ;)

          Reply
  4. Janet

    Great post. Of all the blogs I’ve been travelling on lately and posts I’ve been reading, this is by far one of the best. I can totally relate and love reading another ‘real’ mommy blog. Thanks for the read.

    Reply
  5. kelloggs77

    I think just about every “mommy blogger” can identify with the reasons you gave as to why you write. I started mostly for myself, as a way to chronicle my children’s childhoods since I seem to never find the time to scrapbook. And after becoming a stay-at-home mom when my first child was born, I wanted a way to reconnect with my pre-mommy self who used to write all the time. So then when people started actually reading it, it was all just a bonus. I don’t really ever worry about my kids getting upset with anything I have written about them…mostly because I would never publish anything that would intentionally hurt them. I try to keep it light and funny. I do wonder how things will change when they hit the middle school years and are more conscious of the fact that I am writing about them. But one of the things I hope they learn from my blog is that it is okay to admit your faults and shortcomings to the world because owning those things is the first step to growing. That has been the ultimate blessing of blogging to me. It gives me the chance to step outside of myself and analyze my life. I can leave that memory on the screen, I can see where I should have done better, and I can move on.

    Keep on keepin’ on. Mommy blogger solidarity.

    Reply
  6. Rayna Drago

    I always used to wonder what my parents were like when they were younger but they never really shared much. Reading what you wrote kind of makes me want to write in a journal or something so they can read it when they are older and get to know a different side of me than just “Mimi”. LOL! I just get kind of lazy when it comes to writing. But you have inspired me to try again. Thanks!!

    Reply
  7. Carrie (@MildlyMedicated)

    LOVE IT! I blog to bring awareness to my chronic illness but also about my life as a wife, a mom and a woman with an illness. Its therapeutic for sure. I hope my kids can look back on it and get a glimpse of what I was like outside of just Mom. I didn’t realize my mom had a purpose outside of being my mom. I also would love to have a window not only to her memory of it but of her accounting as her life was happening.
    Big love!
    Carrie @ Just Mildly Medicated

    Reply
  8. Sue Parker

    I may not have blogged it, or written it down at the time, but I think you KNOW how I felt at 35 with three kids and one on the way, because I have TOLD you over and over again. You don’t like hearing it, so what makes you think you would enjoy reading about it?

    Reply
  9. Pingback: This is MY house. Don’t try and Re-arrange the furniture. | Faking Picture Perfect

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