For the school-aged child, there are few things more exciting than getting that magical phone call. School is closed for a snow day! It is time to rejoice! Well, at least for the kids. The adults are the ones that suffer.
The predicament is made even harder for the busy parent. Or one who is just tired. Okay, lazy. Lazy is what some of us are.
If you find yourself in this category, please don’t fret! Remember, we are all in this together.
Without further adieu, I present my own step by step guide in getting through this torture. I mean, snow day.
1. Wake up. Hand the kids crayons, scissors and glue. And maybe some paper too. Proceed to run like hell.
2. Lounge on the couch and look for some arts and crafts ideas on Pinterest.
3. Get bored after approximately thirty seconds and switch to Facebook.
4. Argue with friends on social media over who got the highest snow totals. Winner gets absolutely nothing.
5. Pray. Pray so very hard that they open schools tomorrow.
6. Look online at all the fun projects your mommy friends have done with their kids and realize that you have no talent to speak of.
8. Attempt to break up any fights between siblings.
9. Give up on that after three minutes.
10. Fantasize about wine (or chocolate).
11. Feign hearing loss when kids ask to go out and play. When they persist, tell them that it is too dangerous due to a tornado warning.
12. Feel bad about that little “white lie” about tornadoes and tell them that you promise to take them outside in “five minutes.”
13. Hope that they still have no concept of time and you can somehow turn five minutes into three hours. Three hours will give you time to think of another excuse, right?
14. Turns out the kids can tell time perfectly. Begrudgingly get up off the couch.
15. Frantically search for snowsuits, gloves and hats. You were too tired to put anything out the night before.
16. Yell at kids because they can’t find their snowsuits, gloves and hats. It is their fault. Obviously.
17. Finally venture outside and take note that the cold is more miserable than you remembered.
18. Assist the kids in attempting to build a snowman. Realize that it is more time consuming than it looks and you still have no talent.
19. Switch over to snow angels.
20. Take lots of pics. We are a happy family playing in the snow, dammit!
21. Mull over cute captions for the pictures so you can share on social media later. Remind yourself again of the importance of having the cutest family on Facebook.
22. Realize that you ran out of ideas and go back inside. That was the longest two minutes of your life!
23. Consider moving to Hawaii. The husband and kids are more than welcome to visit on holidays.
24. Cry some more.
25. Lecture kids on the importance of naps.
26. Go take one yourself.
27. Give up, resign to the couch, and watch annoying kiddie shows.
28. Finally drink that wine (or have that chocolate).