My Voice Might Not be Audible To Children Under 10
31st March 2014

*****If you’re here from SITS, I’m BEYOND excited to have you visit my blog for my SITS Day!! Sit back, relax, and feel free to join in my parenting blog hop today, (or just read it to feel normal or MAYBE you might get a boost of self-esteem in the process). I have it every Monday, so I hope you’ll be back. I especially hope you’ll follow me somewhere on social media too!! *****

There is this little song I sing to my kids that is a children’s song at church, but since I have a horrible memory, and it’s one of my favorites, I use it as a lullaby. There is a line in the song that says, “He gave me my ears that I might hear the magical sound of things”. My littlest usually repeats the word “ears” as I am singing to him. Sweet huh?

Ears are a gift, aren’t they? We can hear sweet, magical things. But, we can also hear things that are not so pleasant. Let’s take for example when your child belches loudly in church and causes all of you to giggle uncontrollably. Or maybe when your kids start a sentence with, “Don’t be mad….” you can almost guarantee that you will, in fact, be getting very mad. The sound of a your children playing happily is super sweet until it happens at 5am and you realize you are now officially up for the day.

But, what amazes me is the gift of hearing that our children have. They are special little creatures aren’t they? The selective hearing works amazingly to their advantage. For example, they hear me opening a snack from three rooms away, but don’t seem to hear me when I am standing right next to them telling them to put their shoes in the closet that they just kicked off of their feet 5 seconds before. Kids are gifted that way, right?

Wear Pants And I’ll Be Your Hero???

origin_6473361479photo credit: fmgbain via photopin cc

OHHH…I thought you said, “Let’s Dance and grab Your Sombrero!” 

I think they are especially gifted with the ability to hear me talking on the phone. I’ve decided that since I have become a die hard texter (yes, I just turned that word into a noun) they are baffled by this phenomenon when I actually pick up the phone to make a phone call. Obviously, the world as they know it is coming to an end because mom is actually speaking into the phone instead of staring at it with fingers flying. Since the world is coming to an end, they decide that they must carpe diem. The other day, I made an actual real life phone call, and like moths to a bright light, they descended hoping to take advantage of this rare phenomenon called “making a telephone call”.

Suddenly everyone was thirsty, and hungry and needed it that. very. second. I started handing out drinks as my oldest decided it was necessary to squirt the brand new bottle of shampoo sitting on the counter. Shampoo went flying across the kitchen. They must not hear my voice on the phone, I started thinking. As I reached for the paper towels, and tried to follow the conversation on the phone in a polite manner that didn’t suggest that my children were causing total chaos in the background, my middle child grabbed a bag of cookies off the counter and turned it upside down on the floor. The look on my face at that point must have suggested the world was, in fact, going to come to an end much sooner than expected, because as quickly as they came and destroyed the kitchen in one minute flat, they were gone.

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I hung up the phone and of course, there was complete silence and harmony in the universe. Although the spot where I had been standing was a different story.

A while ago, I wrote a post about this selective hearing phenomenon, and thought it might be fun to revisit a few things that they “hear” in response to what I am actually saying. The discrepancy is so remarkable that I am now choosing to view it as a special gift that children have so that I don’t lose my mind thinking that my voice actually must not make an audible sound to anyone under the age of 10. Because I’ve decided that’s the only other explanation.

Because when I say before we enter a store….”Do not touch anything” it so obviously in their minds means, “Touch everything and try to break something too.”

When I say…”This is your last cookie” it translates to “Eat this as quickly as possible and negotiate with me until I say, ‘Fine!’and give you another one.”

When I say….”Public restrooms aren’t clean, stand there and don’t. move.” they hear, “Go in the bathroom and touch every surface imaginable and then try to climb under the bathroom stall, making sure to wipe your face against the nasty floor,  while I’m trying to do my business.”

When I say….”Eat your dinner!” at a restaurant this means, “Take one bite, get down, run around wildly, wait for me to threaten you with your life, then start eating again when I am packing up my cold food to take it to-go.”

When I say…”You are only supposed to draw on paper. NOTHING ELSE.” They hear: “Take a permanent marker and beautify every surface in the house.”

When I say…”Be quiet your brother is taking a nap.” They of course hear: “Scream for me from the basement. When I run down the stairs expecting to see a broken bone or a fire in the corner, ask me to change the channel for you.”

When I say….”Clean up your room.” They definitely hear: “Discover a toy under your bed that you’ve been missing for months and sit quietly entranced with it for an hour, accomplishing nothing.”

When I say….”No splashing in the bathtub!” They hear: “Take that tiny toy cup and empty the contents of the bathtub onto the floor one cup at a time.”

When I say….”Do your homework.” They hear: “Stare into space for 30 minutes.”

When I say….”Look me in the eyes so I know you are listening to me.” They hear: “Look me in the eyes, but do your own thing in your own little head so you can say, ‘I didn’t hear you!’ later.”

It’s a special gift I tell you. If it’s NOT a special gift, please don’t tell me. (I like to view my children as gifted…you know, for their sake and mine). I don’t want to discover the alternative, which is, that my voice must not be audible to anyone under the age of 10. Which, when I think about it, might not be the greatest thing, but it might explain a lot.

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Meredith

Meredith

Hi! I'm Meredith- Mom to three, wannabe writer, recovering perfectionist, and an avid blogger writing about the perfect and not-so-perfect moments in motherhood. Glad you're here. :)
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59 comments on “My Voice Might Not be Audible To Children Under 10

  1. Ana Lynn

    Should I burst your bubble now or let you find out on your own? I think I’ll be nice and forewarn your (and burst your bubble now), your voice will not be audible even after they are past 10 year old mark. BUT! The good news is you are not alone my friend, I am in the same boat as you. Congrats on being a featured SITS girl!
    Ana Lynn recently posted…Taking A Shower Looks Like Tsunami Hit Our BathroomMy Profile

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  2. thedoseofreality

    My children can be happily playing for HOURS without interrupting me, but the moment they hear me on the phone it is their invitation to do everything they know they should not. Because Mommy doing the snapping or the silent head-shaking does not scare them! Great post! Hope you have a fantastic SITS day!-Ashley

    Reply
  3. Pingback: Three Things Parenting My Kids Has Taught Me About God | 17 Hour Days

  4. Brittany

    Ha! That’s funny. My kids let everything I say go in one ear and out the other too. At least the baby has an excuse. The four year old… not so much! I find I have to word things just right. Like: “Do you want to go to the park?” (now that I have their attention…) “Okay! As soon as we get your room clean, we’ll go!”
    Brittany recently posted…25 Easy Ways to Share the GospelMy Profile

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  5. Nicole@GolightlyPlace

    The phone IS magic. The kids will always appear. Try to use it to your advantage. If you want to know where they are, to summon them into your presence immediately, just pick up the phone and pretend to make a call. Maybe if you do this enough times (perhaps giving them a chore to do when they show up!), they’ll begin to steer clear when you are actually talking with someone! ;)

    Darling blog you have here! Have a wonderful SITS day!
    Nicole@GolightlyPlace recently posted…A Dash of Desire: Praying Big, Stupid PrayersMy Profile

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  6. Julie Moore

    Happy SITS Day! I hope you have a great one! I can definitely relate! I have a 3 1/2 year old who is in the “do it myself” stage and in the “no thanks” mode when it comes to me asking her to do certain things that she really doesn’t have an option in like, I don’t know, go potty or get dressed. Fun times! I also work with other kids on occasion (my hubby and I work in our 3 – 5 year old Jr. Church on a rotating basis), and boy! I feel like they only hear “It’s snack time!” Everything else like “Don’t lick the table!”, “Jimmy, I don’t think Bobby wants help with his shoes. No, I really think he wants to wear them right now.”, or “Suzie, I am not sure Molly wants you to color her picture for you.” Yesterday, in fact, we had 10 children – 9 of which were high-energy, “hard of hearing” in the ways you mentioned above boys! Fun times! LOL I am glad we only have Jr. Church 2 Sundays in a row about every 3 months! :D
    Julie Moore recently posted…{Guest Post} Darla’s Story: My Severe Dairy Allergy Was Misdiagnosed As Epilepsy And HypoglycemiaMy Profile

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  8. normaleverydaylife

    This is so funny and so true! I really think my kids cannot hear sometimes or that I’m speaking a different language. I can whisper on the phone though or quietly turn on the TV by myself in another room though and it’s like moths to a flame!
    normaleverydaylife recently posted…Spring CleaningMy Profile

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  9. Jen

    Oh this post had me rolling! I’m so glad I discovered you through SITS today. You definitely have a new fan in me. Thanks for hosting the link up too. I am not Mommy blogger but by chance I wrote a post about parenting the other day and I linked it up here. Looking forward to reading more from you!
    Jen
    Jen recently posted…Blogging Basics – Join the CommunityMy Profile

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  10. Pingback: 5 Ways Being a Mom Has Changed My Life - Driftwood Gardens

  11. Jessie

    The phone is a magnet, for sure. And now my oldest daughter (7) has the lovely habit of becoming offended when I ask her not to interrupt a phone call.
    Seriously…
    Jessie recently posted…My HelpersMy Profile

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  12. Lydia Devadason

    Oh no, I’ve discovered this blog and post a day too late (I think, though I’m in the UK) – was having all sorts of manic shenanigans with my two yesterday – if only I’d known, ha ha. Your blog is brilliant and your post spot on. I put a post up on this subject a couple of weeks ago – only a short quote – I repeatedly asked my three year old to wash her hands, she kept ignoring me, and when I asked if she could her me, she replied ‘Yes, I can hear you saying blah, blah, blah!’ Simply charming ;-)
    Lydia Devadason recently posted…Bloggi*g i* adverse situatio*sMy Profile

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  13. Pingback: They used to just drive me to distraction « neverimitate

  14. Courtney Conover

    Okay. I hope you framed that photo to put on display in your house. It is seriously gorgeous!!! I LOVE candid shots like this, and I believe that these are the gems that I’ll cherish most some day when I’m old, and grey and gumming my food.

    I just made a quick pit stop to your blog to see what you had up today, and I’m coming back later to read this post in its entirety, like after I’ve devoured 3/4 of my birthday cake and become so comatose that I am unable to be moved from my recliner…
    Courtney Conover recently posted…7 Random Memories of Birthdays PastMy Profile

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    1. Meredith Post author

      Sounds like a perfect birthday plan!! The photo is from photo pin, so I can’t take the credit, and probably won’t be framing it! ;)

      Reply
      1. Courtney Conover

        Ahhhh. OKay. I’ve returned to read this post in its entirety, and, of course, this time I noticed the photo credit….

        With regard to the crux of this post, I have a feeling this will be me in the months to come. My son is only 31 months and my daughter is 6 months. there will be LOTS of this to come in the Conover household. Although I’ve already experienced the “Be quiet your [sister] is taking a nap.” For some reason, Scotty interprets Kennedy’s nap as an invitation to run up and down the hallway at full speed while shouting the theme song to Bubble Guppies.

        Sigh.
        Courtney Conover recently posted…The. Best. Rainboots. Ever.My Profile

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  15. Ann

    Your blog on ears is so totally there. It’s great that you have found the humor in situations like that. Having 3 grown children and several grand kids, I can relate. And having a grandson (he’s 4), it ‘s like re-living it all over again. Your story is so funny the way you tell it. I enjoyed it greatly. Thank you for sharing. New blogger at SITS.

    Reply
  16. sue

    HILARIOUS! It made me laugh while sitting in my hotel room at 4 a.m. waiting for a possible tornado to arrive (Jackson, Mississippi.)

    Reply
  17. Aysh

    Haha! So.. that is why they don’t listen! Lol. Really, right now I am so tired and I was hoping I’d get a midmorning nap.. told the toddler that mommy and Rumi could have a nap.. she said okee… then pulled out her trainset at my feet… left that and started building the airport on my pillow with one plane getting tangled in my hair! Ouch.
    And.. as someone already mentioned… yes, they don’t hear after 10 too. They get worst before they get better… when is that…? When they become parents and have kids who are just like they were! Ha!
    Aysh recently posted…Never Head East, I Say!My Profile

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