I tried not to think about it when I woke up AGAIN at 5 am this morning. But, the tears started coming again, and I left my room again. I went into the other room and cried like a baby and said another prayer. I’ve been saying lots of prayers lately. This time was different though. It calmed me and I was able to go back to bed and fall asleep.
My husband took over my duties of packing a lunch and getting the girl off to school. I was so relieved to lay in my bed with my puffy eyes and just keep them closed. I was in true despair. Sure, it’s just a material thing. It’s not like I lost a person in my life that I loved. But, I couldn’t help but feel sad when the trash truck came on Monday morning thinking, “What if it’s in there and I didn’t look good enough?” I went out into my yard with a flashlight for at least an hour last night. I literally put on rubber gloves, a mask and a trash bag to search my giant trash can. I had stuck my hands down toilets and searched my air vents. I had organized drawers and cleaned out dressers. I went through the diaper pail. I filed a police report and made reward posters. I had given everything I had to find that ring, and this morning, I had resigned. I wouldn’t find it, and that was depressing. I just wanted to hide in my bed until I got over it.
But, I couldn’t. I went grocery shopping instead. My least favorite chore. I mean seriously. I have written post after post after post about how much I hate this task. And, today was no different. As I shopped, I couldn’t help but notice my ring was gone with every single thing I touched. I scanned the parking lot and floors again hoping for a miracle since that was one of the places I had been on Saturday. I stopped by the jeweler in the grocery store and asked her. I started to cry. Just a tad bit embarrassing. After finishing all of my shopping, I got in the car and sobbed like a baby.
I pulled myself together and drove home and cried in the driveway. Today was not going so well to say the least.
I started the chore of putting things away, and I reached down into my produce drawer of my fridge where things were sure to be rotting and started to pull out old green onions, and check bell peppers to see if they were still good and there it was. Something shiny. I screamed. I yanked it out of the drawer and started screaming so wildly that my cat jumped in the air and darted across the room. I found my ring in the FRIDGE. A place I had already checked! But, silly me didn’t check the produce drawers. Because, you don’t think to look for jewelry among the parsley and tomatoes. I had not even cooked a meal the day this ring went missing. I have no idea how it got there.
My cousin pointed out to me jokingly that St. Anthony put it there. I responded with, “Well, St. Anthony is my new favorite Saint then!”
I find it so ironic that the thing I hate doing the most led to me finding my ring. Yet, I’m so relieved. I called and texted and posted on FB to everyone I knew to let them know. SO many people told me they were praying for me.
I could finally throw my trash away with ease and hopefully never reach my hand inside another toilet like that again. I’m still shuddering at the thought. I could stop crying. And, yes, I’ll be making a trip to the jeweler tomorrow morning to get this sucker sized.
Have you ever lost something and spent an hour looking for it? You know how exhausted you are after feeling all that anxiety and putting in all the work for that long to look for it? Well, I had been doing that for almost 3 days. I literally could not sleep and could not focus on anything but finding that ring.
But, through all of that anxiety and stress, I learned a valuable lesson. And, with fair warning, here’s where my post might turn a little religious.
God answers prayers.
I have always believed that. And, I have seen it happen in my life before. But, I think I needed a little reminding. And, this ring being lost reminded me of how much I need to rely on God when things are out of my control, but also when things are running smoothly. I had just told Him in my prayer this morning in the dark at 5am, that if it wasn’t His will to help me find this ring, then I will try to accept that if He will help to comfort me. I mean, I couldn’t go on mourning forever. I have a family to take care of. And, after I said that prayer, I just felt a sense of calm and peace and the words that had been told to me over and over came back. “You will find it.”
The truth is, through the whole experience, it was making me mad that everyone kept saying that to me. How did they know? I may not find it. Many people never do. Yet, a quiet voice inside me kept saying it too. I tried so hard to believe that voice, because I knew it was coming from God. But, in the light of day, when I was in a frenzy looking for it, I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t hear it in a way that would bring comfort. I had a hard time having that faith. Yet, I wanted so badly to believe.
Maybe I would have found the ring eventually no matter what, the cynics might say. But, I believe it was when I finally told God I was OK with losing something so precious to me if it was His will, that he allowed me to find it. And, I learned that I need Him all the time, not just during the desperate times. Believe me, when I found it and was finally alone, I said a prayer. Thanking Him.
I’ve been working a lot on myself lately, and this little mini trial (because I know there will be much bigger trials ahead one day) was a blessing in disguise. Because I learned again what I already knew. That I need Him, and He is always looking out for me. And, I know that when something even bigger and harder is thrown my way, I know what my first step will be.
To get down on my knees.
*Want to know more about what I believe about faith? Go here.